All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
there is glitter all over my balls
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
