You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize