Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
