my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
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