sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
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