so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
