CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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