My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
