Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
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