everyone is single if you try hard enough
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
