I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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