Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
