So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
