She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
