pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
