Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
My Sexting was not on an AP level
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
