Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
