4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Randomize
