dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Randomize
