Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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