I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
is it fun? or sober?
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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