I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
