You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
