Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
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Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
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