I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Pooping to opera.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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