Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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