I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize