there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Randomize
