Where did you get a picture of my penis
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
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