Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
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