Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
there was a trapeze. enough said
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
