she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
I deserve this hangover.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
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