Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Randomize
