...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
