did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
