Where is the hickey?
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Randomize
