I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Randomize
