never play flip cup with pint glasses
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
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