Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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