i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
