I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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