Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
