puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
