She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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