And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
