Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day ππ#pensacolaproblems
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
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