Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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