I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Randomize