I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Randomize
