Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
