she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
You made out with two different species that night
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
