Grow some girl-balls and come out already
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
