All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
