Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
