Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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