with your own penis?
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
