I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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