All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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