I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Randomize
