Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Randomize
