Texts From Last Night

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  (212): View more from New York

  that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me

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  (212): that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me http://tfl.nu/xacv
  Replies (22) Good night (1406) Bad night (1075)
• Favorite

  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.

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  (484): At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town. http://tfl.nu/jjq0
  Replies (82) Good night (6535) Bad night (863)
• Favorite

  (514): View more from Quebec

  Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.

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  (514): Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta. http://tfl.nu/sa2y
  Replies (42) Good night (14732) Bad night (1173)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.

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  (303): My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks. http://tfl.nu/ug5h
  Replies (16) Good night (1910) Bad night (3518)
• Favorite

  (718): View more from New York

  The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.

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  (718): The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be. http://tfl.nu/vr33
  Replies (5) Good night (3569) Bad night (1384)
• Favorite

  (925): View more from California

  I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.

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  (925): I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts. http://tfl.nu/g61c
  Replies (8) Good night (1103) Bad night (3552)
• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.

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  (201): He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn. http://tfl.nu/ws8z
  Replies (8) Good night (2835) Bad night (1117)
• Favorite

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.

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  (304): I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable. http://tfl.nu/maf5
  Replies (22) Good night (4555) Bad night (712)
• Favorite

  (734): View more from Michigan

  Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.

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  (734): Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword. http://tfl.nu/ec7y
  Replies (1) Good night (1011) Bad night (500)
• Favorite

  (253): View more from Washington

  For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.

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  (253): For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo. http://tfl.nu/ryca
  Replies (3) Good night (1265) Bad night (460)
• Favorite

  (613): View more from Ontario

  you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.

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  (613): you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers. http://tfl.nu/797e
  Replies (3) Good night (1291) Bad night (473)
• Favorite

  (269): View more from Michigan

  I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.

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  (269): I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning. http://tfl.nu/k0jr
  Replies (3) Good night (660) Bad night (631)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"

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  (630): What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices" http://tfl.nu/xx6u
  Replies (3) Good night (666) Bad night (339)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways

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  (717): Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways http://tfl.nu/1sez
  Replies (1) Good night (685) Bad night (344)
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear

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  (519): You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear http://tfl.nu/17oq
  Replies (0) Good night (585) Bad night (254)

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