return my video game
i may or may not be watching the land before time
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Randomize
