so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?