I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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