Can Purell be used as lube?
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Randomize
